This has been a crazy two weeks, I must say. The main thing, in this house, has been the lovely summer cold that is going around. Jimmy was sick just about the whole time Steven was home and then Carmel had it the second week of school. Actually her sickest time was last weekend. She pretty much stayed in the house all weekend and took lots of naps. That was good and bad because we had a lot to do and we couldn't do it all together since someone had to stay home with her. But it was really quiet with one less kid to open and close the door 50 million times.
Anyway, Patrick stayed home from school for the past two days with the stomach bug and now I have started with the cold symptoms. Despite the fact that I am taking my vit c and such, I feel crappy. I really don't know why I am even posting, except that I haven't done it in a while and I feel like I need to update pretty regularly. Why? I have no Idea.
I have been feeling very stressed lately and I am sure that is one reason why I am getting sick. I really miss Steven and get sad when I think about not being able to be with him during the deployment ceremony. They will be shipping out on Sept 14th or 15th. The ceremony is on the 11th. I wish he was not stationed so far away. It's just not fair. I think that if the Army is going to station my child all the way across the country, they could at least pay to let me go and see him off to war. Is that too much to ask for? It is getting harder and harder to hold the tears back, especially when I realise that he will be leaving in a little over 2 weeks. After that, I don't know when I will see him again. He is such a good kid and is just beginning to get interesting again and now he is so far away. I think about him everyday and talk about him to anyone who will listen. I am so proud of the man he is becoming, even if others are not. One of the things that are so difficult to handle... is that I know no one else in the family knows what I am really going through. I know these are difficult thoughts for some of you to hear, but I am at the point where I need to be honest about my feelings. I am not looking for pity, just understanding. There are going to be really bad days (emotionally) for me soon and I may not be much in the mood to talk or visit. Please just give me time to deal with all of this and I will come around. I will make it through, though it may take time. What I don't need is for people to ask me repeatedly how am I doing. By asking that... I feel obligated to lie and say that I am OK, just to keep people from worrying. Even with my closest family and friend, I find it hard to be honest. So, please just be patient.
This post didn't go exactly how I had imagined. But, sometimes that's just how things roll. I am exhausted and ready to get some sleep. Here's the real bummer...the power just flickered and now the cable box is having to reset and I can't watch anything. Yikes..what will I do?
PS--Tag, as an English teacher, does it bother you that I do this "..." so often when I write? I know it probably not correct writing rules...but it helps me express my pauses and hopefully lets people know that those dots are me thinking. Maybe that's where the title for this blog comes from "hummmmm" (that's me thinking...I think)
Man, I am tired, because this is beginning to not make any sense/since/scents. Which one is write/right/rite? Dawggoneit...the English language is crazy.
4 comments:
In response to your English quips, you are too funny. I use those three dots a lot, too. I don't think it should be an issue with your English
I miss Steven, too. I worry about him and you, just so you know. I love you both very much and you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I know you will get through this. For your sake I hope it will be soon. Love ya.
Don't worry about the over-use of ellipses (...). It doesn't bother me. In fact, I use them a lot too. It's just another way to add expression to your writing, like commas, dashes, and parentheses.
I won't ask you how you're doing! I will, though, give you one bit of unsolicited advice. Don't hit Steven too hard with how sad you are, via blog or phone or whatnot. He doesn't need that additional stress while he's deployed. Just something I've learned from my brother-in-law's 4 tours of duty in Iraq. I'm not saying don't be sad...I'm just saying be careful how you share that sadness.
Oh, and one more reminder, though you probably don't need it...try not to let your sadness affect your relationships/time spent with/attention to the other 3 children. That wouldn't be fair to them.
Sorry everybody's sick. It's always a bummer when that happens.
Hope my advice isn't inappropriate. Hang in there!
I know how you feel I worry and cry when I think about Michael getting ready to deployed in a couple of weeks. I guess we are going to have to pray and pray and pray some more for these young men. And you can always call Brittany for moral support if you need I know she wouldn't mind.
I sorry you sad :(
I feel for you.
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